‘We’re just all really, really broken’: Family despair at loss of teen’s memorial sign

The loss of a roadside memorial sign for a 15 year-old who was struck and killed by a vehicle on Vinegar Hill Road, has been heart-breaking for his family. Pictured with the sign is his sister Violett Ngaruhe.
A Whangārei whānau about to face the third anniversary of a loved one’s death are “heartbroken” at the loss of his roadside memorial sign.
Jahsdis Raynard Ngaruhe, was five days off turning 16 when he died on November 30, 2021, after being struck and fatally wounded by a car on Vinegar Hill Rd, Whāngarei, at about 11.30pm.
To mark the first anniversary of his death, Jahsdis’s family commissioned from a local signwriting company a large memorial sign shaped like a headstone.
Jahsdis’ sister Violett Ngaruhe, 21, said: “We didn’t like to see a cross; we didn’t like the fact that he was really gone, so for me and my family and a lot of supportive people we put together a memorial site.
The sign, made from a weather-proof acrylic, featured a large photo of Jahsdis (pronounced Justice), his birth and death dates, and the words Ride in Paradise.
The family attached it to an existing fence on public land alongside the part of the road where Jahsdis was killed. It became a place where friends and family could go to remember him, Violett said. They didn’t have a conventional grave site for Jahsdis as he had been cremated and his ashes weren’t in any fixed place. For instance, they were currently with his great-grandma in Auckland.
The memorial sign had been in place for the three years without issue, she said. Authorities and the farmer whose land bounded the fence did not have any concerns about it. And, the sign had withstood all manner of weather events, including Cyclone Gabrielle.
Visitors to the memorial often left mementos at the site – items like flowers, baseball caps, beer, and necklaces. None of those were missing, only the sign, Violett said.
The sign was last seen in place on October 15, so must have gone missing sometime after that, she said.
“My whole heart is broken and shattered,” Violett said.
“We’re just all really, really broken because we don’t know where our baby is.”
While it wasn’t an actual headstone, the sign held the same tapu status for her family, she said.
“It’s just straight disrespectful.
“And it’s really breaking our tikanga cos we did karakia him up there, we blessed the site …”
Her family had door knocked at houses in the area to ask if any residents had CCTV footage that might help identify the person or people who took the sign but there wasn’t any.
“We just want the sign back,” Violett said. She hoped whoever might have it would simply return it to the memorial site.
Violett said she was especially close to Jahsdis, who was one of her eight siblings, one of whom died at birth, the other as a baby. Their mother had also since died – from a longstanding illness – when Jahsdis was 8. Violett had stepped in to raise him “as if he was my own”, she said.
Mention of his shock death still brought her immediately to tears.
What happened that night of Jahsdis’ death was never fully resolved in the family’s eyes, she said.
However, it was accepted Jahsdis – intoxicated at the time – had gone for a walk to cool off after a row with his girlfriend.
She claimed police told the family the vehicle that first struck and fatally injured Jahsdis did not stop and that the driver of a second vehicle told police he thought Jahsdis was a log.
Police have been contacted for comment.
Sarah Curtis is a news reporter for the Northern Advocate focusing on a wide range of issues. She has nearly 20 years’ experience in journalism, much of which she spent court reporting. She is passionate about covering stories that make a difference.